Seeing that I have issues with severe depression and the highest level of anxiety, this was a godsend. A review paper on the rectal administration on diazepam concludes that this is an excellent alternative for the management of seizures. As I was slowly getting something was wrong, my brother said 'no its not, its Tuesday! I would feel incredibly sped up, walk around in circles for awhile. I anticipated an agonizing burn but I really didn't mind the actual result of sniffing the pill. I came into my kitchen to see my mom and dad crying.
I faintly remember that I went outside after that, sat at a park, and started to get discordinated. I probably told him I took xanax and thats why he asked, since I didn't know the name before that. I went inside, downed about 3 more pills, and got 3 xanax and codeine for the people. The rest of the story, was given from friends who witnessed my xanax high.
The events are in order. To 2 black women out on an evening walk, I yelled 'Fuck you niggers! Though I am not rascist at all and think rascism is very stupid, I believe if you take yourself too seriously, then no one can take you seriously. If your against rascism, but cringe at any racial slang, then you need to chill out, take a joke. I also got in a fight with a friend, I'll call him 'B'.
He also was the one getting the codeines. We fight often just for fun or for fun when we're slammed, and this was no different. Though I usually win our fights, I was told he totally kicked my ass. However, I would not give up and was told that I kept fighting for another 30 minutes. B said he gave up because he couldnt keep kickin my ass for so long.
I didn't get any bruises the next day so that's kinda weird. I also ran in front of A's dad's car and he had to slam the brakes from a 20 mph drive. He skidded and when he stopped, he was a foot away from me. I, however, kept running and didn't even look back or take any notice at all. Not even to his honking horn. He also happened to be goverment trained in identifying intoxicated and, in general, messed up people.
I also made some very gay moves to an acquintance from my neighborhood. Though I am not gay, apply the same philosophy as I did with the yelling episode. The kid is also very homophobic, and even when I'm not high I pretend like Im hitting on him to bug him. He's an annoying person too. It was said that I said I was gonna rape him and with very discordinated hands, pushed my pants down in futile effort because my belt was tight enough to keep my pants on.
One of my friends was holding him for me. Like I said, I'm not gay, and I never actually did anything gay to him on the xanax. I was told I acted very drunk. About 4 hours later, it is said I kept falling asleep and having to be woken up. When I got home around 9, I was told by my mother that I tried to boil water on the stove. We have a machine made specifically for boiling water, and my mother knew from this act something was weird with me.
She eventually took me for being drunk, and called the I hung up the phone during her call. This caused to not know what exactly the distress call was for. So they sent 2 ambulances, a cop car, and a firetruck over to my house at full speed. I got taken away to a hospital in a ambulance, and after proving negative for any alcohol on the breathalizer, they hospital had to figure out what I was on. During my time at the hospital, I was told by my father that I kept running away and around half naked through the place, was yelling and cursing I very rarely cuss at all so I find that odd , waving the finger, and yelling at my dad for the annoying things he does.
The people there stuck IV's in me, but had a hard time controlling me. My father told me I kept ripping out the IV's placed in me. The doctors gave my father a list of psychiatrists that would be good to visit, but by 4 AM in my morning my dad wasn't fully there either, and he lost this list, thankfully. The next day I woke up at 4 PM. It was a Tuesday after the Monday on xanax. Finding myself still in my pants, underwear, socks, but instead of the shirt I had worn some blue button shirt, I was somewhat puzzled.
I do not usually sleep in my pants, and I had never seen the shirt before. My sense of time was a bit off because sleeping to 4pm does that to you. My first thought was oh wow I slept late, I mustve missed school. I walked downstairs, and asked my mom what day it was. I started to talk to my friends again who I had completely forgotten about and told them what was happening. I felt a sense of closeness to these people and I adored each and everyone of them. I loved them all and I sure as hell let them know that.
Some people interpreted my self-expression as being an act of homosexuality. I have also heard this from other drug users who didn't like E. It doesn't make you gay. This love I had for these guys and a few girls was not sexual at all. In fact, the very concept of sexual desire, thoughts, and actions turned me off completely. I was feeling the things that actually matter. I knew it was right to love these people.
I even felt a love for people I didn't even know. It was just an overall adoration of mankind and feeling of connection towards every beautiful being. Anyways, I told many of them about these feelings and it felt SO good to say 'I love you' to people, to anyone! I felt loved too. I felt truly loved and adored by everything. It was the most emotional revelation I could ever dream of. But that what this was starting to turn into a dream. This is beyond drug territory. I had never been happier in my life.
I would try to relate this feeling to you somehow but it is simple undescribable. You must experience it yourself. Most of these feelings are pretty typical with ecstasy. I also started to hear a weird sound whenever I shook my head that sounded somewhat like the sound of a Vinyl Record being scratched by a DJ.
This girl had always annoyed me but I instantly told her that I loved her. Surprisingly enough she recognized the high since she was a frequent roller herself. I tried to get her to say she loved me too just to see how it felt and when she finally typed it out my soul was complete. It made no difference. Love no longer has ANY sexual references but a feeling similar to the love you have for family. I just wanted to read the words 'I Love You Jason'. Reading that emphasized the feelings of connection and belonging to everything and everyone on this planet including the fucking planet.
I wasn't expecting to see any tracers since I wasn't getting MDA but sure enough I was seeing plenty with the LED lights and I am utterly captivated and mesmorized by the show. My body feels unreal. As if it's really not there at all. My pupils were massive!!! I continued talking with friends and had some amazing and very emotional conversations. All the while the techno is playin strong and the visualizer is utterly captivating.
I must say that ecstasy goes beyond Euphoria. I figure it must be something rather similar to nirvana. I then remembered the Aromatherapy Inhaler. I was not expecting this. With one huge inhalation through my nostrils I was gone. The best way to describe it is a stimulating 'nod'. It was pretty incredible although I'm not able to specify a certain feeling that was present, my eyes rolled way back in my skull from the strongest sense of euphoria and happiness I had ever felt.
It was just overall. Well, for a lack of better words orgasmic. I was in heaven. The feeling of the water wasn't really enjoyable but just kind of eery. I got out and went back about my business which at the times was staring at the visualizer while swaying side to side with some great music playing and pressing the glorious inhaler firmly against my nostrils. Hell, I couldn't get enough of it! I started taking huge whiffs from it and started using both my nose and mouth to get the vapors.
I would occasionally be so dumb as to get the LED lights and shine them in my eyes. It's a miracle that I made it out of the experience with any eyesight at all. I attempted some other tricks that had been told to attempt and really didn't have much success with any of them. I started to try and create my own. One trick in particular was pretty cool.
I would start getting my legs all jittery and have them bouncing up and down all the while I was taking some whiffs from the inhaler. I held the vapors in and exhaled and quit bouncing my legs at the same time and got a really cool and intense rush to surge throughtout my legs. I continued with a nice balance of music, visualizations, friends, and of course, the inhaler.
This cycle seemed to keep my high going for another 30 minutes or so and then sadly my high was no more. I noticed I was hungry so I ate a granola bar I had in my room I took 1mg of xanax and got in bed and started watching some episodes of the Twighlight Zone. There must have been some ecstasy remaining in my system because I got a completely new buzz when the xanax kicked in. It was a great way to end the experience.
I felt a lot of tactile sensations from the remaining x and xanax and of course I was nice and mellow and happy. There I was basking in the afterglow and reminiscing over what was without a doubt the greatest experience of my life. I started to get some cottonmouth and had to drink quite a bit of water and therefore I had to take numerous trips to the bathroom and as a results I was kept awake. My mouth kept getting very dry, my bladder kept getting very full, and dammit I was getting very tired.
I gave up hope of falling asleep and went downstairs. It was about eight in the morning.